Reflections

I have been known to make sarcastic comments while driving. It was my way of letting out my frustration when a car would cut me off or something like that. Instead of yelling I would usually say something along the lines of "Really? That is just beautiful!" It was also usually accompanied by a nice roll of the eyes, a loud sigh, and a shaking of the head.

The other day, I was driving home from work when a car decided that instead of getting into the next lane so I could get on the highway, it would just wait and wait until it was next to me and I was completely stopped to get over. It had been a long day and I wanted to just be home and I was frustrated that the driver was so inconsiderate. So I lifted my hand and said "Really? You couldn't have just moved over and let me in?" Immediately after those words left my mouth I felt convicted. I said "I'm sorry Lord for my attitude, forgive me."

A constant prayer of mine the past few months is that I would be gentle. I have always been known for my sarcasm. I was actually voted most sarcastic girl in my senior class in high school. I never gave it much thought. I just accepted it as who I was. Yet, I also knew that I could be the sweetest and most gentle person if I wanted to be. But, it's very hard to be known as sweet and gentle, and sarcastic.  They don't exactly go together. I had to choose what I wanted to be known by. The sarcastic woman whose witty comments made people laugh and gained praise from the world? Or, the gentle woman whose quiet spirit brought refreshment to a dying world and pleased her Father? The answer should be obvious right? But flesh is never easy to die to. 

So began my journey two months ago to become the gentle woman God has called me to be. I began praying scriptures over myself everyday. 

[Ephesians 4:2]

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." 

[Philippians 4:5]

"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near."

[Colossians 3:12]

"Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience." 

[1 Peter 3:4]

"Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 

Great worth in God's sight! Unfading beauty! Gentleness produces unfading beauty that God values! I began to desire it more than anything. I wanted to be that woman whose spirit brought encouragement and peace to those around. 

I have been told a few times the last few weeks that I was different. That something about me had changed. Jesus has changed me is my only response. And I'm so thankful!

I still slip. That was made very clear when I was driving. Everyday I have to surrender my attitude to Christ. Just this past Wednesday I made a comment to someone that wasn't rude, but it could have been said in a much sweeter way. I knew it right after I said it too, so I added a little please at the end. I walked away from that thanking God that He showed me the areas I still needed to grow in, and asked Him to help me get better.

There is a burden in my heart for the church. We need to pursue holiness at all cost. That means laying down things and accepting the process God wants to take us on in molding us to be more like Him. It means forsaking conformity and complacency. We have to reach a place where we no longer accept "the way we are" as the way God wants us to be. That very well may mean letting go of habits and ways of thinking that we have walked in our entire lives. It is not an easy road,and the change will not happen overnight. But, God is faithful, and one day you will look back and see how God has moved inside you. It is time for us to be a reflection of our Father, not of this world.